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Jokes
«I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.»
«Gags die, humor doesn't»
«If a condescending joke is truly funny, make yourself the subject- you will increase the number of people laughing by at least one.»
«For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies»
«Family jokes, through rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive»
«I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change? I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.»
«Housekeeping ain't no joke»
«I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.»
«Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.»
«Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on thee and I'll forgive thy great big one on me.»