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Golf
«If there's a golf course in heaven, I hope it's like Augusta National. I just don't want an early tee time.»
«If I had won today and all those other championships, my life might be totally different, but I didn't win. It's not going to affect my life. I am upset inside, but I'm not going to run around and be like a Dennis Rodman and head-butt an official.»
«If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.»
«If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.»
«If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.»
«If we could have just screwed another head on his shoulders, he would have been the greatest golfer who ever lived.»
«If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.»
«Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?»
«In the game of life it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relives you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.»
«In case of a thunderstorm, stand in the middle of the fairway and hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron.»