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kid
«Parents have to understand: if your kid isn't you, don't blame the kid.»
«Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.»
«The old philosophy was that parents, especially mothers, caused their kids to become schizophrenic. Now we see that when a kid is this crazy, he'll make the family begin to seem crazy.»
«I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.»
«I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up»
«I really had a lot of dreams when I was a kid, and I think a great deal of that grew out of the fact that I had a chance to read a lot.»
«I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.»
«I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.»
«Mom and Dad can make the rulesAnd certain things forbid,But I can make them wish that theyhad never had a kid.»
«The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating......and you finish off as an orgasm.»
Author: George Carlin
(
Actor,
Author,
Comedian)
|
About:
Humor,
Life
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Keywords:
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at parties,
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Baby and I,
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Out of the Womb,
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Taking Off,
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tough,
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watch,
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