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W. C. Fields Quotes
«You can't cheat an honest man. He has to have larceny in his heart in the first place.»
«During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.»
«Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.»
«Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.»
«The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his buttons.»
«I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.»
«It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.»
«A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter.»
«I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.»
«Anything worth having is a thing worth cheating for.»