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W. C. Fields Quotes
«A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.»
«Never mind what I told you -- you do as I tell you.»
«I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.»
«If you're a real good kid, I'll give you a piggy-back ride on a buzz-saw.»
«I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.»
«Everyone must believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.»
«Happiness means quiet nerves.»
«Never smarten up a chump.»
«Either you're drunk or your braces are lopsided.»
«We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking . . . that this happens is a matter of record. But the blame almost always is placed on whiskey. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything. . . .»
