Quotations
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Tim Vine Quotes
«So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'»
Author: Tim Vine
«You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.»
Author: Tim Vine
«I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.»
Author: Tim Vine
«So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.»
Author: Tim Vine
«But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.»
Author: Tim Vine
«So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'»
Author: Tim Vine
«Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.»
Author: Tim Vine