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Stephen Wright Quotes
«One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world.»
«Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.»
«George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.»
«My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.»
«Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.»
«Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'.»
«My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.»
«When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes»
«I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.»
«I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.»