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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
«It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.»
«I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.»
«One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control»
«I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.»
«What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.»
«When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.»
«I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.»
«I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet»
«My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.»
«I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
(
Comedian)
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Keywords:
asleep,
blind,
blind man,
fall asleep,
fell,
felled,
felling,
fells,
I Woke Up,
kid,
library,
one day,
pimple,
pimples,
plenty,
reading,
The Library,
woke