Quotations

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Phyllis Diller Quotes

«We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.»
«A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.»
«Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing»
«Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.»
Author: Phyllis Diller | Keywords: go to bed, stay up
«Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.»
«Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.»
«Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?»
«What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day»
«I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass»
Author: Phyllis Diller | Keywords: fresh, grass, lady, milk, waiter, waiters
«You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type»

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