Quotations
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Mitch Hedberg Quotes
«I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.»
«You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.»
«Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.»
«Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
| About:
Comedy,
silly
| Keywords:
I go, shave, shaved, shaves, shaving, Somebody else
«I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.»
«People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.»