Quotations

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Mark Twain Quotes

«What do you call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, magnanimity, forgiveness? Different results of the one master impulse: the necessity of securing one's self-approval»
«Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow.»
«How often we recall, with regret, that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember with charity that his intentions were good.»
«Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except for heaven and hell, and I have only a vague curiosity as concerns one of those.»
«It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.»
Author: Mark Twain (Humorist, Lecturer, Writer) | About: Smoking | Keywords: hundreds, smoking
«A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.»
«Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly -- a lark which must have cost Him a regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects.»
«Happiness ain't a thing in itself /it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.»
«Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.»
«What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he stick in a rut.»