Quotations
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Jon Stewart Quotes
«More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had.»
Author: Jon Stewart
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
attended, even chance, get in, get in touch, heads, heads of state, head of state, prejudices, summit, summits, The New Yorker
«The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1»
«Scores of Iraqi exiles met in London to discuss ways to overthrow Saddam Hussein in a grand gathering dubbed the 'Iraqi Military Alliance Meeting.' Of course, these people are no longer Iraqi, they have no military, and there is no alliance. But they did have a meeting.»
«I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change? I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.»
«Of course, it is still eight months to election day, but the campaign is starting to fall into its own natural rhythm: falsely macho Kerry comment, falsely indignant Bush response.»
«The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.»
Author: Jon Stewart
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
All Over Me, bar, bucket, buckets, couch, Couched, couches, couching, drank, drove, Drunk driving, every year, hit home, I Woke Up, propped, propping, props, prop up, the bar, twenty-two, vomit, vomited, vomiting, vomit up, walk-up, whistle, whistled, whistles, whistling, woke
«For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't? you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.»