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Jay Leno Quotes
«I don't deserve to be on that show.»
«nice to see at least one Dodger scoring this year.»
«When I worked with Willie Nelson, who is just about the nicest man I've ever worked with in my life, the sweetest, kindest man, I thought, 'If I'd have been gay, it would have saved me millions,'»
«He didn't want to sell it, but since he's off steroids he can only wear it as a bracelet now.»
«Have you ever used a fake ID?»
«You see? That's the great thing about the second term: Who cares?»
«Democrats have been complaining that President Bush has spent more than 21 percent of his time in office out of the White House. That's nothing -- since Bush has been president, the Democrats have been out of the White House 100 percent of the time.»
«Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day./ Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime./ Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.»
«U.N. weapons inspectors found empty chemical warheads in Iraq. So, the question everyone is asking now is how did Sean Penn miss this?»