Quotations
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Eddie Izzard Quotes
«We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; it?s a sort of detective thing, but it?s really true, you know it?s there? But it?s kind of slow on telly, it has this problem of, ?We?ve been here three weeks on live television, and we?ve taken off about a millimeter of top soil so far?? There?s men with brushes and beards? maybe they?ve just got beards, I?m not sure? ?We found this and carbon-dated it to last Tuesday, so we?re very excited??»
Author: Eddie Izzard
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
archeology, beards, brushes, carbon, carbons, dated, detective, excited, millimeter, Not sure, soil, telly, Three Weeks, Tuesday, Tuesdays, weeks
«It?s a secret, religious, weird, ceremonial rite of passage for girls that women know. Hopscotch, it was bizarre for boys, ?cause they never played it, and as a boy, I was behind walls, going, ?What- what happened? What did they do? What do they do here?? And they had a track laid out with numbers, mystic numbers- 1, 5? 7, 8, you know? A bit of a broken doll there, some girl keeping lookout with a skipping rope?»
«And you don?t get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office; they have other people there, you can flirt, you know? You go, ?Hey! Oh, you?re new here, aren?t you? How are you getting on? Do you want a coffee? I was gonna go get a coffee- I can get you a coffee? You know, I like my coffee like I like my women- in a plastic cup!?Beekeepers can?t do that! 2,000 bees? (buzzing sounds) ?Hello, there, you in the street! You?re new, aren?t you??(scared) ?Huh???Do you want a cup of coffee? It?s no problem! (buzzing continues) No real problem???I don?t want a cup of coffee from you! You?re covered in bees!??I like my women like I like my coffee? covered in bees! Now back off, back off!? (screams)They?re always just behind you? or in front. If beekeepers get together, and go in a sort of general outing, and they?re in a van with a lot of bees following, ?Faster! Faster! (buzzing sounds) Faster! Put your foot down!?(sighs) Yes?»
Author: Eddie Izzard
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
back off, back street, bees, buzz, buzzes, buzzing, coffee, coffee cup, continues, covered, cup, flirt, flirting, flirts, flirt with, following, get together, go in, hello, hey, Huh, in front, it No, normal, No problem, outing, plastic, plastics, scared, screams, sighs, sound off, The Normal, van, work in
«[Mock singing] ?And shall my sword sleep in my hand?? [Speaking] ?NOT a good idea, you?re gonna roll over and cut your bits off.?»