Quotations
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Dave Barry Quotes
«Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| About:
America and Americans
| Keywords:
approximately, billion, Eugene, locate, located, locates, locating, Oregon, Western
«We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| About:
Journalism
| Keywords:
extremely, Journalists, objective, topics, variety, wide
«I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, and some day, when my generation retires, they will have to pay us trillions of dollars in social security»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| About:
Generations,
Hope,
Youth
| Keywords:
a trillion, dollars, My Generation, retires, Social Security, trillion, trillions
«The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.»
«Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?»
«In South Florida, we have industrial cockroaches that have to be equipped with loud warning beepers so you can get out of their way when they back up.»
«If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| About:
Global Warming
| Keywords:
facing, global, Global Warming, human race, name, nuclear, nuclear war, race, scarier, scariest, the threat of, The three, Threats, warming, windows
«I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| Keywords:
annual, examination, gravitational, nurse, recently, Seven Years, shocked, weighed
«Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities.»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| Keywords:
Colorado, each year, emergency, facilities, medical, millions, superb, The Emergency
«Because of the level of my chess game, I was able - even against a weak opponent, such as my younger brothers or the dog - to get myself checkmated in under three minutes. I challenge any computer to do it faster.»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| Keywords:
Against A, checkmate, checkmated, chess, chess game, computer game, opponent, younger