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Dave Barry Quotes
«If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.»
«Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting.»
Author: Dave Barry
(
Humorist,
Writer)
|
About:
Marriage
|
Keywords:
colonies,
colony,
couples,
erupt,
erupting,
erupts,
flaw,
get on,
in practice,
married couple,
nerves,
regularly,
teeming,
teeming with,
teems,
the colonies,
vicious
«I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.»
Author: Dave Barry
(
Humorist,
Writer)
|
Keywords:
approximately,
fan,
gigantic,
rolling,
Rolling Stone,
Rolling Stones,
Spanish-American War,
Spanish,
Spanish American,
The Rolling Stones
«Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you?»
Author: Dave Barry
(
Humorist,
Writer)
|
Keywords:
agencies,
airline,
airlines,
arrangements,
hassle,
hassles,
hotels,
phone,
phone call,
rental,
screwed,
trained
«I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software incompatibility problems that, in terms of complexity, make the U.S. Tax Code look like Dr. Seuss.»
Author: Dave Barry
(
Humorist,
Writer)
|
About:
Internet,
Reading
|
Keywords:
code,
complexity,
Dr.,
Dr. Seuss,
Dr,
groups,
incompatibility,
in terms of,
messages,
regularly,
software,
tax code,
the US
«If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.»
«The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.»
«In Spain, attempting to obtain a chicken salad sandwich, you wind up with a dish whose name, when you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean: Eel with big abscess.»
Author: Dave Barry
(
Humorist,
Writer)
|
About:
Country
|
Keywords:
abscess,
attempting,
chicken,
chicken salad,
dictionary,
dish,
eel,
Eels,
English Dictionary,
obtain,
salad,
sandwich,
Spain,
Spanish,
wind up
«To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.»
«MEGAHERTZ: This is a really, really big hertz.»