Quotations

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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

«PICKANINNY, n. The young of the _Procyanthropos_, or _Americanus dominans_. It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.»
«MISS, n. The title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Missis (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.»
«MINOR, adj. Less objectionable.»
«MINSTREL, adj. Formerly a poet, singer or musician; now a nigger with a color less than skin deep and a humor more than flesh and blood can bear.»
«MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.»
«METROPOLIS, n. A stronghold of provincialism.»
«MILLENNIUM, n. The period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers on the under side.»
«MERCHANT, n. One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.»
«MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.»
«MARTYR, n. One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.»